Loveland Frog

Based on descriptions, and other atrists renderings I have made this drawing of the Loveland Frog. I then utilized the crayons of the girl whose lawn jockey we stole to color it in.

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Mysterious Loveland Frog A Report from Fatjuicyslop.com Every few hundred years a hero is born. This tale doesn't have a hero, but a giant-ass mutant frog monster from Ohio. Close enough, if you ask me. I was a young man of 18 when Ifirst heard the stories of the Loveland freak-ass mutant giant frog, that steals wallets, has a magic wand, and eats small children. Parts of that are true, you pick a part you like the most and run with it. One day I was chatting with Jeff, before he died, and he was telling me fantastic stories involving the aforementioned frog monster and Tim Death's website. I go to www.TimDeath.com to investigate. What I read there would change my life for the better. Tim Death had gone to Loveland Ohio to battle the forces of an ancient frog monster. Or at least a frog monster from the 70's. I read the stories of his investigation. Me and Heff's interest in the mighty frog monster grew, until one afternoon we set up an expedition to Loveland Ohio. We had made arrangements to meet with with Bill something or other, I forget, to talk about the frog monster. We gathered supplies for the 40 minute drive, and made a comprehensive informational packet describing the plan. We took the packet that included detailed instructions, and drove off to Mr. Death's residence. This was the greatest website joint effort in history, Fatjuicyslop.com and TimDeath.com were set on bringing to you a story, a story with a freak mutant frog monster that steals wallets and has a magic wand with no appearent power. After arriving in Loveland, Ben Jeff, Tim Death, and I split up into two groups. I had to take a leak so I wondered under a bridge and pissed into the little Miami River. That's when I saw some racoon tracks, was this a sign of the giant frog monster. No, it was a sign of racoons you bastard. Tim Death and Jeff didn't notice Ben and I had split up with them so they kept going. After I was done relieving myself in toe monster's natural habbitat, I went topside and wondered around down the street with my partner in the mission. I began to tack down Jeff and Mr. Death. We walked up the street about an 8th of a mile. I glanced to my right, and saw the other team, Omega Team as we soon started calling them. We walked down that street in search of the other two team members. We had lost sight of them, so we stopped in the historical society's museum. We had asked some old-ass women if two other kids had come in asking about the Loveland Frog. After telling us that it was nothing more than a hoax, and yelling some obscenities, she told us that they were in pursuit of the Loveland Castle. We then left and wondered around some more, and met p with Mr. Death and Jeff. We then decided to drive to the castle, it being several miles away and all. The Loveland Castle began construction in the 30's. Some crazy French knight built it on his own and started a knight hood, basically boy scouts with fancy title, that go around supporting Christianity like a bunch of suckers. We asked around about the Loveland frog. When some old guy started telling us about the strategic functinality of stairs in Castles. He let us in for free, bypassing the $2 fee. We determined that the French Knight was sent to America by France to protect us from the forces of giant mutant wand carrying frogs that steal wallets. Those French are all right in my book. Thank you france. The castle is right on the river, making it a key location in the fighting of evil wallet stealing mutant frogs. My guess is that the knight hood in Loveland, are nothing more than the soldiers in the fight against the Loveland frog. Or it's all some stupid hoax, either way it's fun. We then tracked down the police station. We wanted to go there to talk to Speacialist Shockey, one of the citizens of Loveland who spotted the Loveland frog in the 1970's We got the police stations phone number and were told when to call back. After that we were hungry, so we got some ice cream and headed back to the Heights, Huber Heights.

Now for some good old fashioned pictures

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